Alan Turing

I learned a bit about Alan Turing this week. He was a student and fellow (professor) at Cambridge University. I've heard his story before, but one of my co-workers—we'll call him "Scooter"—told me again the other day. My memory for names and events (and anything at all) is abysmal so I only had the vaguest whispers of Mr. Turing left in my brain.

Here's the short version: Alan Turing was a WWII code breaker and pretty much invented computer programming, but because he was openly gay, he was stripped of his security clearances and chemically castrated before committing suicide at the age of 41.

Ok. So, there's that.

Here's some of the conversation the surrounded Scooter's recount of Alan Turing's legacy:

1. Before

Scooter: So, when we spoke at the *fireworks the other night, did you say your partner was a lady?

*St. John's May Ball fireworks! I got to see those in person!

Me: Yes, my partner is a lady.

Scooter: Ok. I just wanted to make sure I heard that correctly. Is that something that's widely known or is that private information?

Me: Well, I was in the closet when I lived in South Korea, but here I just say partner and then use the correct pronoun after that. Sometimes people say, "What are they(?) studying?" and I let them know to use she. I am also what they call a "100 footer." That means you can tell from about 100 feet off that I'm gay. 

Scooter: Well, I didn't assume. I mean, you do have the short hair, but some women have it really short, like a military crop top.

Me: [Why did I tell that joke? Not helpful!] Uh, some women do have shorter hair.

2. After

Scooter: I don't have any problem with two women being together...

Me: [Aw, damn it... here it comes...]

Scooter: But I find the idea of two men being together disgusting.

Me: [And there it is! Why do people insist on telling me this?] Um, ok? You do realize that gay men aren't going to attack you or anything, right?

Scooter: If I see two blokes kissing, I just want to turn my head.

Me: Why is that threatening to you? Generally, if something is upsetting to you, it's because it's threatening somehow. 

Scooter: I think it's my problem and as long as I don't make it anyone else's, that's fine.

Me: Do you think about everyone having sex? Because that might be what's making it weird. Just think of gay men like you think about anybody else. That might help.

Scooter: I've just always been attracted to women.

Me: So have I.

[Scooter looks surprised for a second, then throws up his hand for a really strange hi-5]

Me: Again, people are usually upset by things that are threatening to them. Otherwise, you wouldn't really care. 

Scooter: I just think it's weird. Like I said, as long as I don't make it anyone else's problem, then it's fine.

Me: Uh.... [Ah! I feel like I should have a better response to this! Damn it! I'm going to Google this when I get home because this shit happens all the time! Is this real life? Why do people say things from the TV and why am I not prepared for them?! I've had a really snappy response for "How do lesbians have sex?" for months and no one has actually asked me that one! Damn it] ... Which boat should I pack up?

JUST A QUICK MESSAGE FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO TELL ME THAT TWO WOMEN IS FINE, BUT TWO DUDES IS GROSS/WEIRD/WHATEVER*:

1. FUCK YOU. I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL.

2. I KNOW WHERE THESE FEELINGS COME FROM AND IT'S MISOGYNIST AS FUUUUUCK. I AM NOT A LESBIAN FOR YOU TO FANTASIZE ABOUT AND MOST MEN'S FEAR OF GAY MEN COMES FROM A FEAR OF BEING TREATED LIKE A WOMAN.

3. ONE OF MY BROTHERS IS GAY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. 

*Not that those people will ever read my blog. I'm just trying to work out my response so I can be prepared and in case anyone that any of you knows says this shit to you, well, now you have a handy link and can point them to this homo's feelings on the matter. Also, I'll probably make a comic out of this later, so this will be a handy record. 

/End of rant.

I'll work on this.

Here's some words from another coworker—"Statler"—yesterday:

Statler: He's very handsome. He's a gay icon. Can I say that?

Me: Are you asking me to be spokesperson?

Statler: That's exactly what I was trying to avoid!

Me: Well, I don't know if he's anyone's icon, but he is pretty.

Ah, lookit this punt chauffeur!

Let me tell you some things about this here river.

Rainbow Ball: It's the Gay One

LOOKING FABULOUS

Here's some Cambridge father-son street skiing for you.

These are from the wax museum held in Shinsegae, a Korea department store, last year.

Aaaaaand I fell in the river.

DONE!!!!

And my last boat was AMAZING!!! They were older folks on a company outing, getting drunk and telling stories. So lovely! And they tipped me over £13! That's an extra $21 for an hour's work!

Those golden coins are single pounds (about $1.60 each). I used some of thems to buy my dinner at the restaurant where I work (and get 50% off) and now it's time to shower and watch Golden Girls. 

Also, saw some strange old timey stick dancing in the park. 

[ http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_dance ]

England is a funny place. 

Done. No more posts for like 7 more months. Promise. ^_-

Tour #3

Older folks from all over (Australia, New Zealand, Canada, & the US) and it took about 55 minutes. A few bumps, but mostly ok. Second one was the best today. One more in half an hour and that one is supposed to be an hour, so I should manage!

Come to Cambridge and I'll give you a tour! Also, I won't do this every day I give tours, this is just helping me get through today. Cheers!

Tour #2

Tired French children!

Great on time, even with slowing down to let some of the kids have a go! Woo!

Tour #1

Was with German teenage girls. They were sweet. They were one of three boats and we came back in last. I kept bouncing all over the river, but it only took 55 minutes rather than the 90 minutes of last week. Just ten minutes and I'll be down to the correct time. Ok, now I'm just avoiding typing the transcripts for Lizzie's interviews.  Woo!

p.s. My managers here scare the shit out of me (despite being really polite when they speak to me) and I generally feel a bit bad at my job and inept and I don't like that. It makes me really grateful for my second job when I just work with Liz (not Lizzie) and we talk about musicals and make mushy peas. It also makes me grateful for anytime I'm not on rotation/working at the punting place. I still like both jobs, I just have to wait to get better at them. This is what happens when you suddenly do something completely different because you were sick of that other thing. And that's ok. I'll take it. 

Ok. Transcripts. 

Another day at the office

I get to work here. 

Shredded my shoulder a bit. Had some days off rotation and got to the gym to build the muscle back up a bit. I push 4 tours tomorrow. Wish me luck.