TIME SOLDIER

blog hiatus.

Dear American Education Services,

While I appreciate the opportunity that's been afforded me to attend university thanks to your loan services, I do not appreciate BEING RAPED BY YOU during repayment.

Fuck you, AES.

Suck a dick. Suck a bag of dicks.





.....can't say I blame them, though. It's capitalism at its finest and we all signed up for that.

fuck.

oh, tiger moms....

Last Friday, there was some drama with Hyun Ju and a stomach virus that threatened to literally burst her insides. In short, mom wanted her at hagwon (the kind of after-school institute where I teach), she had had the evening before to rest, and that, as they say, was that. I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to do with this small Korean girl in the fetal position, but the answer was "drag her through the class." Hanna was not pleased when we showed up in the teacher's room because Hyun Ju said she felt worse and wanted to speak to her homeroom teacher. But I didn't know any better ("What was I supposed to do, Hanna?! I've never been in this situation before!") so I wasn't scolded too harshly. And Hyun Ju was allowed to go home, although she kind of hung around the office for a little while because, I suspect, mom probably wasn't going to be a doting cuddle bear when she got home.

Hyun Ju spent Saturday and Sunday at the hospital getting shots and IVs. She was there again today, rather than attending public school.

How do I know all of this information, you ask. Good question, guy! Hyun Ju told me at the beginning of her class with me this afternoon.

4. Experience acupuncture in Korea....or anywhere, really.

another small anecdote

After an impromptu (facking delicious) dinner of kimch jjigae* with Ran and Korean Gangster Father at their apartment, we gathered 'round the computer so we could listen to "Creep" by Radiohead. KGF had heard it playing outside and asked if I liked that song. When I answered VERY MUCH in the affirmative, he pulled up the acoustic version and we sang together. It was another genius moment only possible in Korea.

yesssssssss.

                                     *

Kimchi Jjigae

New Life Goals:

1. Go to Salzburg, Austria. Frolic in the hills.
2. Get kilted (whatever it's called when it happens to women)
3. Yell, "THAT'S ENOUGH OUTTA YOU, CHALK HANDS!" at another teacher and slap a book out of his/her hands.

That's all for now. More as they happen in my brain.

small anecdote

After explaining what a trench is and how it's used in war (it was in the text we were reading) and making some gun noises, Hyun Ju looks at me and says, "Teacher, I think you are a man."

Me: No, I'm a woman.
Hyun Ju: But you say things differently.
Me: And I'm still a woman. Can you read the caption for this photo please?

haha. ^^

[ http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42044293/ns/world_news-asiapacific/ ]

So, earthquake and tsunami happened in Japan. Big, too. And Japan is close to here. My mom sent an adorable, worried e-mail, so thought I'd throw out a general notice that the weather's just fine here.

the ol' revolving door

Hanna, current English department head, plans to leave.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

She asked if I want to leave, too.

"not yet."

(I can't afford to pay back the airfare if I leave earlier than 6 months in. I'm pretty well stuck until June. Pleaaaase hire another teacher to replace Hanna. Oh, G-d)

_____________________________________________

Edit 4pm: A WHOLE NEW SCHEDULE on Monday? yessssss.
You're breaking my balls, 하이스트.

_____________________________________________

Edit 5pm: Robot Teacher is leaving, too. So, that leaves me and Amy.0 and a fucking prayer that this school will hire not just 1, but 2 new teachers.

...this leaves me with some motivation issues.

Oh well  Here's an "Oh, Korea" and now it's time to carry on with whatever seems like it should go next. And at least Amy.0 has a more American sense of time and gives me random, incongruous notice about what's going on. ....hmmm, even that's mildly disturbing.

And I'll stop updating in this post, I swear. But, this jimjam of wordsy panic attack certainly shows an expat's life in Korea. Well, mine anyway and that's the point, yeah?

And I really do love this country. Just this afternoon, I was singing "We Are the Champions" with Ran and Korean Gangster Father as we drove by the ocean. It's not all bad. But it's ALWAYS RIDICULOUS.

checkitoutcheckitoutcheckitout

TGIFF! woo!

Also, some candy! [ Here's ] a pretty, pretty blog entry (from a pretty, pretty blog) where I found out about Belly Flops, irregular jelly beans packaged by Jelly Belly.

I like that!

Also, I jacked this picture of some o' them beans from the aforementioned blog!
(I use the word "aforementioned" entirely too much...)

Also, also, here are two equally real sea dragons!

If you ask them "who wants ice cream cone?" both of them say yes. How in the hell? What the hell?

THEY ARE TWINS. THAT'S WHY.

Coffee Mood Crash

Poor little Hyun Ju. She felt strange and she couldn't stop thinking about death during our speaking class. No matter what I asked her, she kept talking about people dying. At any rate, when she's the UN Secretary General, she'll either make a time machine or (very foul tasting) medicine that allows you to live forever. Also, if you eat a popsicle and drink cola together, it's funny and gross and you'll spit it everywhere.

11-year-olds are perplexing and badass.

.sigh.

Another* schedule change? An additional class on Friday, you say? Alright. On with it, then.

* I have to write the exact date and time on each tiny schedule paper that appears on my desk so I can be sure I've got the most recent one up on my wall. It's not unusual to get 3 in a day.

[ some clever quip about The Jetsons ]

I finally set up my Magic Jack. That means I have a (real) phone in my house with an 814 number that you can call (and I can call you from) and you can leave me voicemails any time (which are then E-MAILED to me! Holy SCIENCE, Batman!).

I'll send out a mass e-mail with my phone number soon.

YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA.

Even though I know it's generally about scheduling or trying to recruit new students, hearing my name all the damn time, as if I'm not in the room, and not being able to understand the rest of what's being said is sometimes really facking annoying. Only sometimes. And right now if I let it.

Apparently, I'majust blog every time I scratch my ass.

Deal, I guess.

8 classes (not 9!) later...

Today was ok. I can hack it. Yay.

Also, Amy.0 looks like Korean Kristin Chenoweth.

Also also, J-ja-sa is my favorite class and I talk about them constantly in real life. And I just realized that I don't think I posted any anecdotes from their class on here. Real quick, the students' names are (as they've told me they want to be called): Jeong-jin (f), Simon, Chang (m), Tiramica (m), and Kevin. The class has been recently moved around a bit (split up and students added), but these guys are the real deal.

Here's a small tale from way back:

Tiramica said that he had a terrible weekend because he lost his cell phone and he had no idea how it happened. To which I jokingly (and somewhat inappropriately) suggested "soju?" He and the other students had a laugh at that and then Chang asked me if I knew C1, Busan's brand of soju. I said that I had noticed it last week because on the bottles was printed "Dokdo is Korean Territory" which amused me and I took a picture of the bottle in the store. Then Chang asked me what I thought about the whole thing and I said I didn't know enough about the history and politics involved and asked if the island at least had resources. Simon said that there was oil and fish and all sorts of plants and I was glad that all the squabbling wasn't over some barren rock. Jeong Jin, the forth student (pre-Kevin) and the only girl, sat in the back listening, but was pretty quiet as usual. Chang seemed pretty amused by my answer. Then we got on with the lesson.

ja-ja! I love those kids.

best day off and then a bucket of stress

Yesterday was Korea's independence day. I asked some people at work what Koreans do for the occasion and  the answer I got was "nothing. sit at home. watch tv." Well, ok then. My students seemed pretty tired on Monday anyway, so naptime sounded nice enough. At anyrate, I spent the day in a FORT at Lizzie's with my phone blissfully turned off. No alarms telling me to go anywhere and a break from communicating with the rest of the world. Cell phones sure are handy, but always being available wears me out. Anywho, there was drawing and legos and a Banksy documentary and 30 Rock and Black Books and BEING IN A DAMN FORT. With one of my favorite people. Win.

Also, before work today, I skyped with Jeremy. YES.

So, back to work today. Writing this blog entry to keep from panicking or yelling at Hanna (again...). Two English teachers left. They only hired one new one. I have 7 classes today and 9 tomorrow. I have loads of classes and all kinds of made up new ones where I'm being pimped out as a private tutor (meaning LOADS more new prep for me and LOADS more money for the school). I'm lucky to have seen my schedule at all and now I have to figure out an intense topic for a new student to discuss.....ahhhhhhhhhh

 I have to stay later and can't really come in later because of prep time (but that's not sooooooo bad...I only have to be here 7 hours per day to start with)

Also, got in contact with my recruiter. First they told me to "stop being so negative" and I responded that not being prepared for a very real, albeit unpleasant, possibility in a foreign country is stupid and also I love my job (which was more true last week than now.....eeeesh). I got another e-mail which said "oh, right, ignore that e-mail, it was actually for another teacher at a very new school" (nice lie, doood. Were you berry picking and it was so cold that the strawberry's all turned blue?) and then included some mildly practical advice (make sure your pay is always on time...the more they owe you, the less likely you'll get paid at all) which, most importantly, acknowledged the situation. Nothing drives me insane quite like an elephant in the room. That's why I say pretty much everything in my head all the time..

ahhhhhhhhhhh

Also, dear now-head-of-the-English-department,
Why don't you translate when I talk (you can tell) or answer my questions or understand my answers? I need to you to communicate with me and you seem either annoyed with me, as if you think I'm a complete idiot, or as if you're waiting for me to slap you. I know you're stressed, lady and shit's all over and I don't know if my English is intimidating or what and I know we got off to a bad start and I did kind of yell at you last week...but I need you.

sigh. gonna put my e-mail and phone number on her desk. maybe I'll give her another chocopie.

K, got a lot of running today. also, want to see if I can make my laptop print things at work. And I think my classes are going to be observed, so gotta GET ON IT.