Trigger warning: ALL CAPS asides #notmychristian
I haven't posted nothing since the beginning of December. OUTRAGEOUS. How am I going to pad out my memoir if I don't keep track of this stuff?
Um, right. Winter in England is cold and dark and rainy (IT SNOWED LIKE TWICE). And yet again, I neglected to invest in a light box. FOOLISH. But the wispy wisps of spring smells are beginning to seep into the freezing air (KEEP WISH-SMELLING, TAM IF IT HELPS YOU GET THROUGH IT) and I haven't died or murdered anyone. Woo!
My job is very silly and I'm still enjoying it muchly. I'm trying to figure out how to climb that ladder, too. Like a grown-up. I would love to tell 1000 stories about what my job is like, but I work with vulnerable children and it's mega-confidential. Google BESD schools or behavioral schools. And then hire a local 8-year-old to call you the c-word. That should give you the general idea. And everything else is bopping along. I tutor two other kids besides my job, I hang out with Lizzie loads, I scribble sometimes, and I go to the gym. I love my local library. Lizzie and I got a wedding savings account and we're gonna do SPREADSHEETS next weekend. And on the 14th, G-d willing, I'll have been clean and sober for SIX YEARS. Working hard, saving money, getting shit did. That's about that. Eyes on the prize!
Here's what you came for. In no particular order, some low-quality snaps from my phone!
We got chicks at school! The class teacher named this one Belden.
SO FLUFFY. When the kids picked them up, my uterus exploded.
Belden got handsome!
Also, showed this picture to the girl I tutor, who insisted I was squeezing the bird maliciously. I explained that I was holding it firmly to make it feel safe, but not squeezing it. I furthered that I loved those chicks and cried when they left. She replied, "Yes, because you were sad that you couldn't squeeze them anymore."
Sparrow drawing/shading lessons via YouTube. Also, that canvas is made from some picture frames I found near a dumpster in front of my apartment, some leftover canvas, and STAPLES FROM MY STAPLE GUN. I'm quite proud that I own a staple gun. I'm a bona fide butch now!
The second pair of my pants that ripped WHILE I WAS AT WORK. Dang. I got a big ass. Thank goodness for the GIANT Tesco down the street.
Noticed this on the sidewalk, walking to the buses. Is that a pregnancy test? On the street? Is it...
Oh yeah. That's pregnant.
Muscles! Which would be more impressive if I weren't fat, but I like food! And being fat! I'm real strong and by the end of the summer, I WILL DO MY FIRST EVER PULL-UP.
Bought my nerdy girlfriend this t-shirt.
We went for my first afternoon tea on our four year anniversary this past Sunday. So fancy!
Lizzie had to keep harsh-whispering "DAINTY" at my to get me to not eat things all in one bite. I got it by the end. VERY DAINTY.
The end!
