I've asked her (with a rented pug in a park followed by a floating Chinese restaurant) last month and now she's asked me (with pickles, cornbread, easy mac, and champagne flutes of Mountain Dew) last night. 

Boom. Double engaged. 

Shave and a Haircut:

Two bits. 

1. 

Here's $11.77 worth of twinkies. 

2. A chat with a 10-year-old:

Kid: Did you get your haircut?

Me: No, it's just styled differently. 

Kid: You look like a man!

Me: That's ok with me. 

Kid: BUT YOU LOOK GAY!

Me: That's ok. 

Kid: Yeah, I mean that's ok if you want to look gay. 

Me: I don't mind. 

Kid: Ok! :: carries on coloring a picture of a car blue::

Deal with this handsomeness, confused English adults and children. 

ENGAYGED

Big Sleep Out 2014

I'm raising money for the homeless and will also sleep in a cardboard box for an evening.

Learn more/ sponsor me [ HERE ]! Thanks!

Edit 4 November 2014: If one of you lovely readers donated £10 anonymously, thanks a million! £10 is a lot of dollars and is very much appreciated, you coy angel. 

I have some silly pictures on my phone.

Perhaps they tell a story. Perhaps I am an uninspired twat with a blog and an iPhone who's stuck on the tube. YOU DECIDE. 

TADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm chuffed as nuts!

Also, two quick questions:

1. What does this bird do to a pie? 

That's not a riddle. I don't get what it's for. I only know it's pie-related. 

2.  What the hell is this?

It could possibly be a gallsberry. 

Ah well. Time for sleeps!

Manchester Pride

INTRODUCING:
CAPTAIN CAMP

Toooooot

Also, here are some pictures of not just me!

"Quick! Get the Americans!"

Everyone knows that apprenticeships are gay and we love that so much about them. Also, we're cute!

I MADE BOO SMILE!!!!!!!!

Power couple 4 always.

p.s. Photography credit goes to Sandra and Alice!

6 Weeks of Vacation

1. Painting furniture!

Here's some:

2. Brighton Pride and (next weekend) Manchester Pride

Note: Camping in England is cold at night for no reason. 

3. Going to the gym and eating protein like a champ

I tried a protein bar the other day (dark chocolate and cherry flavored) and it was really good. However, I'm super glad that I read the label afterwards. I certainly don't count calories, but that bad boy had 847 of them. And I tried a "pre-workout shot" at the gym last week. It made me REALLY itchy and hot and smelly, but I sure did lift a lot of weights. Weird. 

4. Netflix. 

I've rewatched all of Avatar (the series), most of QI, and Getting On. Conclusions: Uncle Iroh and Jo Brand are the best. 

5. NO BABIES

Nary a child has kicked me in the shins since July 23rd!

HAIRCUT OF MY DREAMZ!!!!!!!

It is hard for this guy to get a damn haircut. I have boobs (gasp!) and that throws people off. I've been refused service at a men's barbershop before and that did not feel nice. I found a place that would serve me down the street and it was ok....but today, I got the haircut I'VE ALWAYS WANTED! Horsepower Barbershop 4EVA!

Here's the picture I show and the tiny accompanying speech that I always have to give pre-haircut:

I want this haircut. I don't want a "woman's version" or even an "edgy alternative lifestyle version." I want a man's haircut. Can you do that?

He said he sure could and he even used a straight razor! The back of my head feels like a baby's butt! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!! And his ass got a HANDSOME TIP. Take that, dude who said he "wasn't allowed" to cut women's hair. My boobs took their money elsewhere.

YESSSSSS

Also, joined the gym!

Soon, I will also have muscles like *Bob Harper!

* I am a fat activist and The Biggest Loser is a SHITTY show from start to finish. I just like Bob Harper's hair and beard and arms. Not the premise of a shitty tv show that makes a game show/profit out of fat shaming people. Sorry, Mom. I know it's your favorite. 

Summertime Realness: Lookin' CUTE

Outside:

And Inside:

New print (on the floor) and pineapple!

Also, 98% of the interior decoration was done by Lizzie AND she grew them sunflowers right up. 

Boom.

#nesting

I just had an awkward moment with Kathleen Turner!!!! Ah!!!! I can die now!!!!

*This is not the awkward moment. I don't have a picture of that. Just the one IN MY MIND. AHHHHHH!

(Also, the dude in the play was the emperor from Star Wars! So that's cool!)

Happy birthday to me!!!!

Also, Lizzie is the best!!!

Co-worker Cards

Them guys! Presh!

CONGRATULATIONS, ALLY BELDEN!!!!!!!!!!

My sister graduated!!!!!!!

TERRIFIED + ADORABLE

(And I got to see it streamed live! Thanks, Edinboro!)

Korean Food in London!!!!

I've been craving Korean food since the day I left! Lizzie and I ventured into Soho on Monday and MADE MY DREAMZ COME TRUE!

 

Yay! 육개장!

Having to ORDER and PAY FOR kimchi  (4,300KRW!) broke my heart...

But I obviously had to. 

^________^

P.S. That restaurant was straight up Korean greasy spoon. Authentic as hell. 

We built a garden!

#nesting

WHAT?! : Why it's hard to understand what the hell people are talking about.

Quick note: THIS

Got it?

I was going to draw up a quick infographic featuring a circle that just said "'MRRRCA" in the middle, but the truth is that we have 50 states with varying laws, the District of Columbia is a thing, and go ahead and explain what it means that Puerto Rico is a US territory. NOTHING IS SIMPLE. 'Mrrrca!

Anyway, I digress. Here are the two fairly obvious main reasons I have difficulty understanding people.

1. Accents 

Here there are many. In America, there are few. So not only do I come with less exposure to different ways of speaking (in addition to coming from a fairly ethnocentric culture), there's also a STEEP learning curve here!

Watch/Listen:

Accents to Google: Geordie, Scouse/Liverpudlian, Welsh, & Glaswegian. Enjoy!

Also, even if I am used to a particular person's way of speaking, if they mumble or speak too quickly, NOPE.

2. Content/Context 

There's a different history here and it's way smaller and way closer to other countries. Ferociously hating immigrants*, thanks to a recession and the recent formation of EU, is BIG and FRESH here, whereas Americans who are threatened by "foreigners" are still shouting about people taking their jobs, but it's like the volume on the TV is turned down. Or maybe I tune it out at home and expect the people here to be cool about it. Anyway, it comes up a lot here and is expressed slightly differently.

There are pop culture references I don't get. There's names of stuff that I don't know ("Will you turn off the extractor over the hob?"). There's a whole style of comedy that I'm only beginning to get.

All of that being said, without Googling anything, go ahead and try to "get" this commercial:

If you have any guesses as to what this noise is about, go ahead and throw them in the comments. Again, guess before Google. Lacey, you can't play.

AND THAT'S WHYCOME SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING!

 Hope this was illuminating! LATERZ.

*pssst. I'm an immigrant.

I THINK I HAVE MENTIONED THAT MY JOB IS CHALLENGING

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh thank G-d it's Friday and that next Friday is a half day for the kids and then TWO WEEKS OFF FOR EASTER. I'll still have tutoring, but I might actually have a damn minute to paint and draw and feel like a human.

This painting is 80% done:

In related news, I've been feeling not great and like a boring adult (mostly because student loan debt and having to work 2 jobs). AND THEN I did a spinning kick in the bathroom getting ready for work and cut my foot on a piece of glass that somehow found its way in there.  And I felt like myself again. WHIMSICAL INJURIES! HURRAH!

In puppy-related news, here's my sister's new puppy:

Here's my sister's new puppy meeting my parents' dog, Wiley:

Tension. 

AND Lizzie and I have scheduled a financial review panel for next November. If we can manage to hobble along, we're going to have ourselves a baby! dog! Like this one:

Puppies and 얍차기s have cheered me up muchly. I've nearly forgotten about the wooden blocks chucked at my head and saying "sit sensibly" and "make the right choice" 8000 times today. Next up, date with Lizzie at Gala Bingo!

UPDATE: Bingo was SERIOUS BUSINESS. Neither of us won any money, but we had fun AND got a free meal. 'Twas a good date. 

Chuffed as Nuts!

P.S. I got lots of hugs, lovely emails/ texts, a chocolate egg, and Lizzie made me this, because I'm strong like a dragon: 

And she donated £10 in my name to Action on Addiction!

Yay!

A Chat with K

K: Why did you write "SP" on your hand?

Me: So that I'd remember to get the spelling lists from upstairs.

K: So is that picture [my tattoo] to remind you to buy a lamp?

Me: No, it's a scale. Like for weighing things. 

K: Like flour? You should draw a bag of flour for each side. 

Me: I could do that. But do you see how it's straight across? It's to remind me to be fair, so to give the same things to everyone. 

K: Are you sure you aren't supposed to remember to buy a lamp or a scale?

Me: Yes, I'm sure. Good idea, but I already have a lamp and a scale. 

K: Oh, ok. 

Wuht?

I'm on half-term break! Something about Walking Dead! (You can't make me care about Beth!) And we only heat our water an hour a night now because £300 is too much to pay for electricity!

YOU update your blog sensibly.

Dear Korea,

I still think of you often and fondly. 

Love,

타마라

p.s. 70p at Tesco!

Little boys growin' daffodils: Don't you dare cry.

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT MY JOB IS CHALLENGING?!

Have I mentioned that it's Friday and my delightful partner is buying Chinese for dinner?

#buscry

On my Walk to my (Grown-up) Job