Most of the people I talk to during the week are non-native English speakers and it's necessary to choose my words carefully. I mean that I've got to pare down what I'm trying to say, pick only the essential stuff, and find the words that get the message across. Obviously, I can get more abstract with my co-teachers and other Koreans with more English.
Sometimes, this can get tiring, lonely, or frustrating. And sometimes, to compensate for this, I expect the native speakers that I speak to to know the EXACT intention of every word that I use. And when I don't feel completely understood, sometimes I throw a big fit about it. My first reaction is a strong sense of indignation. I just DON'T understand how it was possible for the message to have been lost. Then comes a great sense of of loneliness. And finally (some time later), comes a little voice that says "you know, telepathy is a bit of an unreasonable demand." Which isn't really much of a comfort. But I am still glad that I tend to realize it eventually.
NOTE: Please don't think for a second that I don't appreciate how difficult second languages are, especially English. First of all, English wouldn't know structure if it jumped in its lap and called it mama. Secondly, I know maybe 20 words of Korean. Maybe. Which is pretty lame, I'll admit. Not nearly enough effort on my part. But the point is, the two languages are really far apart linguistically and I'm constantly blown away by the large vocabularies I encounter. Putting my German to incredible shame.
I got really fired up about dairy products today and used entirely too much butter for my lil cheese toasties. My heart hurts. Like, literally. I think my tummy needs a shower.
Bah, I want a cigarette. But, I've promised to beat Stevey J's record of 30 days.
I need more baskets, damn it.
conclusion: WEHHHHHHHHHHHH WEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
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